This past Sunday, I decided to take a little trek down to Muizenberg, which is on the False Bay Coastline, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Cape Town, which, yes, includes you jappies who only hang out at Clifton, or Camps Bay -in fact, I bet you’re thinking to yourself right now, “Like what’s a Muizenberg?” Never you mind. By the end of this article, you’ll sure know whether or not you’ll be planning on visiting anytime soon.

Whilst Muizenberg is predominantly known as a home for the hippies, musos, artists, weirdos, bergies, Nigerian drug dealers, and  a Christian radio station, the number one identifying factor of Muizenberg is the fact that it is home to the surfers. Muizenberg might not have the best waves in town, but apparently the swell is pretty “kiff” and, also, lends itself to training newbie surfers.

Apart from the surf, there are a number of unique landmarks in the “788” [the telephonic area code of Muizenberg]. I’m going to shortly list these spots, so that you can add them to your itinerary the next time you pay a visit to this eclectic coastal town.

–  The number one surf shop and board/wetsuit hire:

Lifestyle Surf Shop

Owned by South African longboarding legend, Tich Paul, this shop is the place to get all your surfing gear and surf wear -and the surfers all agree. The prices are reasonable, and the staff are friendly and encouraging. They also get brownie points for the free hiring of boards and wetsuits to non-profit, community building initiatives, like the Palama Metsi Surfing and Development Academy.

–  The number one spot to grab something delicious:

Empire Cafe

The Empire Cafe is cute little gem that promises a lovely setting with good food and friendly service. All the top tweeps from the False Bay side of town hang around this cafe too. The design is a mixture, I would say, of french cafe, mixed with a hint of warehouse, and sprinkled with a topping of whitewash beach style. The food is relatively affordable, and the coffee, divine!

–  The number one place to get an ice cream:

Majestic Cafe

Whilst they do serves fish and chips, this Portuguese owned shop is known all over Muizenberg for its creamy, soft serve ice cream. Be sure to pop your head in. This shop, established back in the day, also happens to be the oldest in Muizenberg… sorry Checkers!

 

–  The number one spot to go for yoga and belly dance lessons:

Alive Dance Studio

Whether you want to meditate, stretch your leg around your ears, or shake that flabby tummy, Alive Dance Studio is the place to go. You can’t call yourself a hippie unless you’ve got in touch with the vibrations of your feet.

 

–  The number one spot to have a drink:

The Village Inn

For that old school pub feeling, (like what the Wreck Club’ looked like in ‘Isidingo’), The Village Inn is the spot you ought to head towards. The place is filled with hopeless old drunk men, lousy 80s music, rugby on the tellies, jovial laughter, a dartboard, pool tables, and pretty cheap booze.

 

–  The number one spot for another kind of spirit:

Kosie’s Place

Looking for a very affordable meal? Don’t mind being interrupted by a sermon, praise and gospel worship session, prayer meeting, bible study, or an evangelist waitron? Kosie’s Place is where the spirit is calling you. You can eat and get ministered to, at a really affordable price. It’s enough to make you want to speak in tongues!

So, there you have it! Some of the must-go-to’s in lovely old Muizenberg. Head down to the beach, take in the cool sea breeze, and become one with the ‘Berg.

The Muizenberg Dictionary:

–  Like: a conjunction used to bring together at least every fourth word

–  Bru: [unisex word] a close friend or a family member

–  Bro: [unisex word] an acquaintance or just another friend

–  Awe: a greeting, or used as “cool”

–  Rad: cool

–  Kiff: cool

–  Howzit: a greeting

–  P*@#: just every second word the bergies say

Jonathan Duguid (@theDramaKing)

  • Fantastic post Jono 🙂 you forgot about the Bluebird garage and Knead though 🙂 love muizenberg – loving the little dictionary you have going 🙂

  • Jonathan Duguid

    Thanks Robyn. Blue Bird Garage is cool, and could’ve maybe been added to the list. On the topic of Knead, I did look at adding it; however, I personally feel it is not a must-go-to. The coffees are always luke warm to cold, the service is not exactly what I call service with a smile, and the majority of the food portions are quite mingym and the prices are not the most affordable in town -especially for what you’re getting. Empire Cafe, I feel, is streaks ahead of Knead, and hence they got the main spot.

  • You’re actually right, they have complete crap iced coffee – ( I.e. Filter coffee with ice cubes in it – I mean really?) Although their croissants are amazing. Still, love the review Jono.

No more articles